Redundancy, bereavement, moving house are all examples of stressful situations. Relationship breakdowns should be added to that list. Arguments over money, the children and who gets the dinner service are regular features. Letters from lawyers, court documents, proposals, counter proposals and counter proposals to the counter proposals all need dealing with.
The following tips may assist in coping:
- Tell your employer - tell them about your home situation. If you let them know they can provide support and will give you some leeway, just in case your performance suffers.
- Take a break - whether you are the person ending the relationship or the person on the receiving end, you need time away. Time to cry, shout, lick your wounds - you need time out to deal with how you feel.
- Tell your colleagues - no one needs to know the ins or outs of the relationship breakdown but telling a few close colleagues will help you by talking about it and help them know how to deal with you.
- Know when to shut up - as difficult as it is, people do not want to know every ongoing detail of the breakdown. Consider contacting a specialist counsellor who will provide a professional and confidential service to help you cope with your situation.
- Dealing with paperwork - the process involves lots of forms and letters from solicitors requesting information so deal with them straight away, rather than adding it to your ‘to do' list which, more often than not remains a ‘to do' list.
- Look after yourself - it is well known that eating, sleeping, resting and relaxing all lead to a healthy body which leads to a healthy mind. Whether it is reading a good book or joining a gym, these all help reduce tension and help you cope with day to day life.
- Smile - it is right that it is easier for the human face to smile than frown. We are all born with the ability to smile but when things get us down we often forget how to use it. Studies have shown that something as easy as smiling may actually make you feel better or help you see the lighter side of things in what is a very difficult situation.
Justine Osmotherley is a Senior Associate and is a member of Resolution who are solicitors who are committed to resolving disputes in a non-confrontational way.
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